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Daily Archives: June 11, 2013

50 Reasons Not To Date A Poet

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It may sound romantic, but in search of that elusive metaphor, poets can be somewhat  “eccentric.”

  1. If you date a poet everyone will think you are the jerk they are writing about.
  2. You will be the jerk they are writing about.
  3. They have an unnatural affection for book stores and office supply stores.
  4. They have deep conversations with Animals, Clouds, and Grecian Urns.
  5. Excessive use of  “poetry hands.”
  6. Excessive abuse of  “poetic licence.”
  7. Excessive use of  “melancholy.”
  8. Excessive use of  “dramatic emphasis.”
  9. They collect obscure words that have not been in circulation for at least 100 years or more.
  10. They insert these antediluvian words into conversations just to rebel.
  11. They think children’s books are sublime.
  12. They refuse to care where the remote is.
  13. All of their furniture are positioned around windows, for them to stare out for hours at a time.
  14. Your parents will think they are possessed.
  15. They are possessed.
  16. You…

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My Parcel

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I’ve got a parcel to send

I’ts coming apart at the end

I’ve got no string

My sellotape is running out

So what can I do?

I have no glue

But I’ve still got a parcel

To send to you

So off to the shop I will go

To buy some sellotape string, or glue

Because I have a parcel

To send to you

A parcel sent with love

Put together with

Sellotape string and glue

Thomas Sims

Dementia

 
 
I saw an old man down in the market
I thought he look terribly depressed
He had tears rolling down from his eyes
I wondered what these tears expressed
 
I said “What’s the matter old fellow
Surely your life can’t be that bad
It upsets me to see you crying
Please tell me why you are so sad”
 
He said “I am eighty two years of age
My wife has just turned thirty eight
She makes love to me every night of my life
I’m sure that many would envy my fate”
 
“She does all of the washing and cleaning
She is also a very good cook
She never asks me for any money
I know that I have had my share of luck”
 
I said “I cannot understand your depression
You’ve had your share of the blessing that life can give
Please tell me what is the cause of your upset?”
He said “I can’t remember where it is that I live”
By Ron Martin

UNFORTUNATELY, IT IS TRUE!

 

Most grass-roots are driving us into the blue

With no maps, no compass or even a clue

They prevent us to distinguish differences in hue

And advocate no common principles but bestrew

All over the scene to make it impossible to construe

Only chaos, melancholy, and insecurity that ensue

 

Some of them adopted philistinism to spoil the view

And deify who is rogue and enemy of virtue

Others resorted to worship memories and an old statue

All sycophants are busy seeking personal issue

While sagacious people are wandering in their own avenue

So, who will come to our rescue?  Patriots will do.

 

© Chaouki M’kaddem

April 9th, 2012

 

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