I am too close to the water’s edge
and I wait impatiently to slip in
Let the water pour in and fill every empty space within me.
Let me inhale the cold deep blue –
filling my lungs to their bursting capacity.
For I desire not to thrash and wail,
but to sink, heavy-weighted and
silent, to the sandy bottom.
Let me gracefully and languidly
find that desperate peace beneath
the dark depths, where no light dares penetrate.
Why long for such finality? Such conclusion?
There is a solemn quiet down below.
A silence that calms the worrying voice.
An end awaits, more grand than the one he refuses.
And I long to have it — that full stop.
When I am finished
and I nourish the sea,
return me to the heavens.
For the one I seek is not here.
And they told me so all along.