Shall i lay on your couch and begin with my unhappy childhood?
Ever had your ear forcibly twisted by a sadistic troubled Catholic Nun, simply for raising your hand while a lesson was being taught because you had a serious bathroom emergency?
The very same ear that had just begun to heal from being seriously injured over the summer in an accident.
Then defecating all over yourself right as the school bell sounds, then sitting alone in a bathroom stall in the basement of
G-D’s house? crying and trying to clean yourself up as the lights go out and just smearing a bigger mess?
Realizing decades later that the cause for the incontinence was due to abuse.
Ever forcibly raped by a full grown adult man at the age of five?
A steely grip of a hand on the back of your neck bent over a bathtub with hot water running full steam?
Resulting in sterility due to an undiagnosed venereal disease contracted from the attack?
Wondering for decades why the anxiety attacks and breaking out in cold sweats for apparently no reason you could think of, chest tightening feeling like a heart attack is imminent and not able to remember WHY?
Who are you to psycho-analyze?
Who do you presume to be…at large society?
What do you presume to know?
Do you think you know me?
You have a “read” on me?
Only G-D knows our true heart!
Do you presume to know Pablo Picasso intimately by his paintings or Salvatore Dali or Beethoven by his compositions or to know what would possess an artist dubbed: “the painter of light” to urinate on a statue of “winnie the pooh” in disneyland.
i don’t condone it…but this i really, earnestly confess i do understand.
He was drunk at the time but he was urinating on Mammon and idolatry.
Rescued by the Lord from the paths endured to forms words from wounds and poems from pain.
Given a choice between a fresh new start without knowing Christ, or reliving the same life all over again to know him for one second…i’d do it all again.
i accept the eyes i’ve been given and do not claim to know what The Father holds in his hands.
i do know from experience that i cannot clean up my own mess and that there is no good thing i am able to do on my own!
That mess i tried to clean up on my own so long ago, was not my mess alone, The Lord turned that mess into a Messenger!
Glory be to G-D.
No need to ask…why me?
Why not me?
Why not you?