Written in A Moment of Exasperation
Monthly Archives: October 2015
Thrice the brinded cat hath mew’d.
Thrice and once, the hedge-pig whin’d.
Harpier cries:—’tis time! ’tis time!
Round about the cauldron go:
In the poisoned entrails throw.
Toad, that under cold stone
Days and nights has thirty-one
Sweated venom sleeping got,
Boil thou first in the charmed pot.
Double,double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and cauldron bubble.
Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder’s fork and blindworm’s sting,
Lizard’s leg and howlet’s wing.
For charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
Double,double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and couldron bubble.
Scale of dragon, tooth of wolf,
Witch’s mummy, maw and gulf
Of the ravin’d salt-sea shark,
Root of hemlock digg’d in the dark,
Liver of blaspheming Jew;
Gall of goat; and slips of yew
Sliver’d in the moon’s eclipse;
Nose of Turk, and Tartar’s lips;
Finger of birth-strangled babe
Ditch-deliver’d by a drab,-
Make the gruel thick and slab:
Add thereto a tiger’s chaudron,
For ingredients of our cauldron.
Double,double toil and trouble,
Fire burn and cauldron bubble.
Cool it with a baboon’s blood,
Then the charm is firm and good.
Witches’ Chant (from Macbeth)
It was a dark night on Halloween
As a young man ventured down a lonely road
The owls were screeching and hooting
In the hedgerow he came across a toad
Excuse me young man, “said the toad”
Will you please kiss me on my cheek?
The young man was quite willing
He then kissed the toad that let out a screech
Then in a puff of smoke and fire
The toad turn into something hairy
The man then recognised that face
As the face of Scary Mary
She had been released from a goblins spell
Thanked the young man as she mounted her broom
She set off with her cat like a rocket
As she headed straight for the moon
Seen by all telescopes around the world
With her cat who sat at the rear
His eyes were now bulging
All his fur turn white with fear
Scary Mary was by now quite dizzy
As her broomstick was now in a dive
Boris her cat by now was apprehensive
As he prayed that he would survive
Scary Mary managed to control her decent
She guided her broomstick on to the road
Where the devious little Goblin was waiting
Who then turned Scary Mary back into a toad?
Orange, red, green, and yellow
Colors of the era
Beautiful for the eye to see
Hayrides, haunted houses, candy corn, and pumpkins
Scary things, things that creep, things that keep you from sleep
Painted faces, things to make you fearful and weep
Fun times, scaring loved ones
Tricks and treats, yummy to eat
Caramel corn and candy apples
Scary movies, popcorn, and hot chocolate
Gathering with friends for a fright fest or glee
Corn mazes and games for the kids,
or haunted trails for the kid in all of us
There’s something for everyone this time of year
Be watchful and wary,
but most importantly , HAVE FUN!
Halloween is the Night of Fright.
Fear is what this night brings,
Along with many other things.
Are you sure you are prepared?
Tonight is not for the easily scared.
Creatures from hell roam on this night,
For tonight is the Night of Fright.
Trick or treat you say,
You should not have waited until the end of the day.
Tonight you will lose your tricks and treats,
For the monsters need to eat.
You better not take this night lightly,
Or else you will truly learn what fright means.
In ancient times people feared this night,
The night they greeted with fright.
Why they were so scared you will soon see,
On this “All Hollows Eve.”
This creamy, dreamy Halloween dessert is the perfect way
of using up hollowed-out pumpkin purée.
- Heat the oven to 170C/325F/Gas 3.
- Bash the digestive biscuits into crumbs. Melt the butter over a low heat and
mix in the biscuit crumbs and lemon zest. Lightly grease a 25cm/10in
loose-bottomed cake tin and press the crumbs into the base and up the sides
- Mix together the cream cheese, pumpkin flesh, sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg
until smooth. Beat the eggs and fold into the pumpkin mixture. Turn into the tin
and bake in the oven for 90 minutes until the surface is set but the underneath
still slightly squidgy.
- Take the cheesecake out of the oven and let it cool in the tin. When cool,
turn it on to a serving plate, cover with foodwrap and chill overnight.
- Whip the double cream until thick and fold in the yoghurt and the lemon
juice. Spread over the top of the cheesecake and serve at room temperature.
This delicious cupcake recipe is easy to whip up and
makes a spooky Halloween treat.
- For the cream cheese icing
- For the chocolate icing
- Preheat the oven to 180C/350F/Gas 4. Line a muffin tray with 9 paper
- Sift the flour, cocoa powder and baking powder into a bowl. Add the sugar and
butter and beat the mixture together until well combined.
- Whisk in the egg and milk until the mixture is thick and smooth.
- Divide the mixture between the paper case and bake in the oven for 20-25
minutes, or until springy to the touch and skewer inserted into the middle of
one of the cakes comes out clean. Set aside to cool on a wire rack.
- For the cream cheese icing, beat the cream cheese and butter together in a
bowl until well combined. Beat in the icing sugar and vanilla.
- Spoon the icing onto the cupcakes, leaving a small border around the
- For the chocolate icing, sift the icing sugar and cocoa powder into a bowl.
Stir in 2 tablespoons of water to form a smooth, thick icing.
- Transfer the mixture to a piping bag with a fine nozzle. (Alternatively,
spoon the mixture into the corner of a sandwich bag and snip off the corner, to
form a small hole.)
- Carefully pipe 3 concentric circles onto each cupcake. Run a toothpick from
the centre to the edge of the cake, through each circle of icing, at 2cm/1in
intervals to create a cobweb effect.
- Set aside for 20 minutes to allow the icing to harden.
Scary Halloween cookies
Try colouring the cookie dough with black or red food
colouring; it may not be pretty but it will be scary.
- 250g/9oz unsalted butter, softened
- 250g/9oz golden caster sugar
- 2 free-range eggs,
- ½ tsp vanilla extract
- 500g/1lb 2oz plain flour
- red and black food colouring (optional)
- 1 tsp baking
- Halloween-themed cookie cutters
- red, white and black writing icing
- 200g/7oz ready-to-roll fondant icing
- 1 tbsp apricot
jam, warmed with 1tsp water
- Beat together the butter and sugar in a large bowl, preferably using an
electric mixer, until the mixture is light and fluffy. Beat in the eggs and
vanilla extract. (If the mixture looks a little curdled, add a spoonful of the
flour.) If you’re using food colouring, add a few drops to the mixture.
- Sift together the flour and baking powder in a separate bowl. Stir the flour
into the butter mixture and work into a dough using floured hands. Turn onto a
floured work surface and knead into a ball (the dough will be quite wet). Divide
the dough into two portions, wrap in cling film and leave to chill in the fridge
for at least one hour.
- Preheat the oven to 170C/325F/Gas 3. Line two baking trays with greaseproof
- Roll the dough out to a 0.5cm/¼in thickness on lightly floured work surface.
(It’s best to roll out one portion of the dough at a time, leaving the remainder
in the fridge.) Cut shapes out with the Halloween cutters. Take a few limbs and
heads off the gingerbread man for added gore.
- Place the cookies onto the baking tray, leaving a gap between them in case
they spread a little.
- Bake for 12-15 minutes, leave on the tray for 10 minutes and then move to a
wire rack to finish cooling.
- Once cool, let your imagination run wild. Use the red writing icing along the
edges of the missing limbs and heads as blood. For the skeletons and mummies,
roll the fondant icing out to a 0.5cm/¼in thickness on a work surface dusted
with icing sugar and cut out shapes using the same cutters as the cookies. Brush
the cookies with the warmed apricot jam and stick the icing onto the cookies.
Decorate with the white and black writing icing.
Whip up some homemade sweet treats to delight little
ghosts and ghouls. Try our simple biscuit dough, rolled out and cut into spooky
- Preheat the oven to 190C/375F/Gas 5. Line a baking tray with greaseproof
- Beat the butter and sugar together in a bowl until combined.
- Beat in the egg and vanilla extract, a little at a time, until well
- Stir in the flour until the mixture comes together as a dough.
- Roll the dough out on a lightly floured work surface to a thickness of
- Using Halloween-style biscuit cutters, cut biscuits out of the dough and
carefully place onto the baking tray.
- Bake the biscuits for 8-10 minutes, or until pale golden-brown. Set aside to
harden for 5 minutes, then cool on a wire rack.
- For the icing, sift the icing sugar into a large mixing bowl and stir in enough water to create a smooth mixture. Stir in the food colouring.
- Carefully spread the icing onto the biscuits using a knife and set aside
until the icing hardens
Lantern soup (pumpkin and haricot bean soup)
- 1 tbsp olive
- 1 large onion,
- 2 cloves garlic, crushed
- 675g/1½lb pumpkin flesh, cubed
- 450g/1lb sweet potatoes, peeled and cubed
- 1 tsp mixed dried herbs
- 1 tsp chopped sage
- 1.5L/2½ pint vegetable stock
- 400g/14oz canned haricot beans, rinsed and drained
- salt and freshly ground black pepper
- Heat the oil in a large saucepan and fry the onion and garlic for about 10
minutes until softened and starting to colour.
- Add the pumpkin, sweet potato and herbs and cook for a further 5 minutes.
- Add the vegetable stock and bring to the boil. Cover the pan and simmer for
30 minutes, until the vegetables are cooked and tender.
- Add the haricot beans and season to taste with salt and pepper. Cook for 5
minutes, then serve hot with crusty bread.
SCARY MARY SAYS HAPPY HALLOWEEN
I WILL BE BACK
ON BONFIRE NIGHT
Let the fun begin
Put your costume on
Then come on in
No tricks here
Only treats galore
Have A little candy
Then a little bit more
Eat all you want
There’s plenty around
No one will stop you
No one will make a sound
Soon you’ll be ready
And you’ll be the treat
After all even goblins
Down in the depth of the scary forest
A witch was preparing her brew
This was the first time she’d made it
As she did not know quite what to do
She put in everything she could think of
From a bats wing to a toad that was pink
She stirred it up with her witch’s broom
And for good luck threw in the kitchen sink
She took a sip from her witch’s brew
Then decided to fly on her broom
But alas things didn’t go to plan
Became dizzy as she flew round the room
Then out of the window and into the woods
Swerving in and out of the trees
By now her vision was erratic
As she was seeing in two’s and three’s
Totally losing control of her broom
She hadn’t a clue what to do
Holding on for dear life
Wishing she hadn’t sipped her powerful brew
Her faithful cat called Boris was with her
She turned and asked Boris “What shall I do”
Boris by now was quite frightened
To be honest he hadn’t got a clue
The witch continued her frightening ride
Murmuring spells under her breath
Boris was saying a prayer
As they both journeyed on to the west
The witch decided to take drastic action
As she jump off her broom in mid air
By now Boris had lost the will to live
As he was hanging on to the witches hair
As they plummeted towards the ground
One last spell the witch did cast
To wish everyone a Happy Halloween
Then they both landed safely at last
Malcolm G Bradshaw
The Hag is astride,
This night for to ride;
The Devill and shee together:
Through thick, and through thin,
Now out, and then in,
Thorn or a Burr
She takes for a Spurre:
With a lash of a Bramble she rides now,
Through Brakes and through Bryars,
O’re Ditches, and Mires,
She followes the Spirit that guides now.
No Beast, for his food,
Dares now range the wood;
But husht in his laire he lies lurking:
While mischiefs, by these,
On Land and on Seas,
At noone of Night are working,
The storme will arise,
And trouble the skies;
This night, and more for the wonder,
The ghost from the Tomb
Affrighted shall come,
A Cal’d out by the clap of the Thunder.Though ne’r so foule be the weather.
Robert Herrick (1648)
YOUR FAVOURITE POEM SENT IN BY YOU WHAT’S YOURS