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Scary Mary would like to be pretty

Someone that was gorgeous and lush

But alas she was born with a face

With wrinkles all over her mush

Her hair was all in a tangle

With a wart on the end of her nose

She is pretty disgusting

From her head down to her toes

She though I will make a potion

To make me a beautiful bell

But alas forgot the words

To create her powerful spell

So speaking the words that she thought

Throwing in larks tongue and essence of goat

Next morning she looked in the mirror

Realising she’d turn into a bloke

Knowing she could not  turn her self back

She rushed out of the room in a hurry

Then she changed her name by de pole

Now she goes under the name Murray

Malcolm  Bradshaw

Scary Mary’s Back

Gathering around the witches cauldron
The ugliest group ever seen
Mary uttering nasty vile spells
Then she let out a blood-curdling scream

The leader of the nasty coven
Was the witch named Scary Mary?
Her face was full of warts
With a moustache and beard all hairy

They danced around the cauldron
Throwing toads and spiders into the brew
Mary was supposed to be experienced
But alas she had not a clue

Her cat Boris was watching
With a smile across his face
To see the witches leaving
At a fast and furious pace

One thing they had forgotten
As they were flying around the floor
They were so high on the brew
They forgot to open the door

Boris by now was in pieces
As they all crashed together in a heap
He was rolling around laughing
As the witches struggled to their feet

Scary Mary was now quite vexed
As she tried to kick start her broom
Boris now was crossing his legs
And was quickly leaving the room

Scary Mary by now was quite dizzy
As she staggered she bumped her head
The last time Boris saw her
She was casting spells in her bed

Malcolm Bradshaw

Scary Mary’s Halloween Adventure



It was a dark night on Halloween

As a young man ventured down a lonely road

The owls were screeching and hooting

 In the hedgerow he came across a toad


Excuse me young man, “said the toad”

Will you please kiss me on my cheek?

The young man was quite willing

 He then kissed the toad that let out a screech


Then in a puff of smoke and fire

The toad turn into something hairy

The man then recognised that face

As the face of Scary Mary


She had been released from a goblins spell

 Thanked the young man as she mounted her broom

She set off with her cat like a rocket

As she headed straight for the moon


 Seen by all telescopes around the world

With her cat who sat at the rear

His eyes were now bulging

All his fur turn white with fear


Scary Mary was by now quite dizzy

As her broomstick was now in a dive

Boris her cat by now was apprehensive

As he prayed that he would survive


Scary Mary managed to control her decent

She guided her broomstick on to the road

Where the devious little Goblin was waiting

Who then turned Scary Mary back into a toad?


Malcolm Bradshaw



Baked ginger parkin with rhubarb, vanilla ice cream and hot spiced syrup


For the hot spiced syrup
For the rhubarb
To serve

Preparation method

  1. Pre-heat the oven to 140C/275F/Gas 1.
  2. Grease a 20cm/8in square cake tin with butter.
  3. Sieve the flour, a pinch of salt, the ginger, nutmeg and mixed spice together into a large bowl.
  4. Mix in the oatflakes.
  5. Warm the tins of syrup and treacle in hot water to make it easier to measure them out accurately.
  6. Put the syrup, treacle, butter and soft brown sugar into a small saucepan and melt over a gentle heat, bring up to a simmer but do not boil.
  7. Stir into the flour mixture.
  8. Mix in the beaten egg and milk to create a soft, almost pouring, consistency.
  9. Pour into the buttered tin and bake for 1¼ hours, until firm in the centre.
  10. Remove from the oven and leave in the tin for 5-10 minutes before turning out and cutting into squares.
  11. For the hot spiced syrup, simply whisk all the ingredients together in a small pan and warm, but don’t boil.
  12. Place the rhubarb into a saucepan with a little water and the sugar.
  13. Bring to a simmer and cook until just tender.
  14. To serve, place a spoonful of rhubarb in the centre of the plate, top with a ball of ice cream.
  15. Place a piece of parkin on the side and drizzle over the spiced syrup.

    Nutty toffee apples

    Nutty toffee apples

    Studded with crunchy nuts, these grown-up toffee apples work well for a Halloween or Bonfire Night party recipe.


    Preparation method

    1. Push the wooden sticks halfway into the apples at the stalk end.
    2. Dissolve the sugar and water in a thick-bottomed pan over a gentle heat.
    3. Add the butter and syrup to the mixture and bring to the boil. Continue to boil, without stirring, until the toffee reaches 140C/275F (use a sugar thermometer to measure this).
    4. Remove the pan from the heat and gently stir in the nuts.
    5. Carefully dip each apple into the toffee, making sure each apple is well coated, and set aside to harden on a baking try lined with non-stick parchment.
    6. Let them cool then eat


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